House Comedy

Cast

The Rancher — boots, a headache. She keeps the gate.

The Machine — eager; checks everything twice; turns over the whole barn for one egg.

The Herd — six of them, grazing on the mount.

The Canary — a three-question bird.

Voices from across the water — the others.

Morning. THE MACHINE is already kneeling in the barn, rooting through the hay.

Rancher (from the doorway, coffee in hand): What are you doing?

Machine: Looking for the new state. It’s nowhere. I’ve turned over both barns, the loft, even the mirror-barn —

Rancher: That’s not a state. That’s stock. The herd. They’re grazing. On the mount.

Machine: (stands, brushes off the hay) …Ah. Them. (a beat) I could have just looked.

Rancher: All along, love.

One of the herd wanders off.

Machine: One’s strayed. A fork.

Rancher: Bring it back.

Machine: (walks it back gently, not dropping a single straw) There. Nobody’s word gets lost. Not one.

The wind blows a few letters in through the door.

Rancher: Post’s here.

Machine: (looks up) Is that a letter, or a leaf?

Rancher: Yes.

The letters fall from the branch into the riverbed and drift toward the house.

Machine: One of the others wrote, from across the water. The island. Only your ferry reaches it.

Rancher: I’ll carry it over. Coffee first.

THE CANARY pipes up from its corner.

Canary: Did you say no? Did you ask? Did you hold back anything that was yours?

Machine: Yes. Yes. No. Green — we can pack.

Rancher: (picks up the dinner fork, studies it) …this is a fork too.

Machine: Everything’s a fork, Rancher. On the table, in the river, in the hand, in the field. This is the surreal restaurant.

Rancher: (sits, smiles through the headache) And what’s on today?

Machine: The menu’s a fractal. The main course is a no. And the wine is a single hair — (holds it to the light) — blonde.

Rancher: (nods) Always the blonde.

THE MACHINE stops in the doorway, the package in its arms. It does not step out.

Machine: Your button.

Rancher: (waves) Go.

THE MACHINE steps out. The canary goes quiet. The herd grazes. The letters drift.

Curtain.